Return to menu              The Courtroom sketch:

[JUDGE SEATED, THE GUILTY PERSON STANDING]

 

Judge: You have been found guilty on all accounts.

The Law can show no mercy to you, even though you are in very poor health.

Therefore your sentence is for you to be locked behind bars for the rest of your life.

 

Guilty person: [START TO SOB] That's terrible, I'll never be able to feel the waves of the sea

washing over my feet, never run through the open fields.....

 

Judge: [INTERRUPTS] You have only got yourself to blame.

But the Law does allow for you to redeem yourself from out of prison.

 

Guilty person: Redeem myself? What does that mean.

 

Judge: It means that you can pay money instead of serving the prison sentence.

 

Guilty person: [LOOKS HOPEFUL]

 

Judge: The cost to redeem yourself is 100 billion pounds.

I know the guilty one hasn't got such money, so take him away!

 

Guilty person: 100 billion pounds! I haven't even got 1000 pounds! No one has got that much!

 

Judge: That's not my problem! Take the guilty one away!

 

[THE POLICE TAKE HIM AWAY]

 

Narrator: The Law and justice has been satisfied. The guilty person is paying the penalty for

his wrong doings. [PAUSE. RUB CHIN THOUGHTFULLY] But what if.....Let's rewind the sketch.

 

[JUDGE SEATED, THE GUILTY PERSON STANDING]

 

Judge: You have been found guilty on all accounts.

The Law can show no mercy to you, even though you are in very poor health.

Therefore your sentence is for you to be locked behind bars for the rest of your life.

 

Guilty person: [START TO SOB] That's terrible...

 

Unnamed person: [ENTER COURT AND STAND BETWEEN THE GUILTY ONE AND JUDGE]

Now stop right there!

 

Guilty person: [SURPRISED]

 

Unnamed person: I will personally pay that money to redeem him and then he can come and

work for me. [TURN TO GUILTY ONE]   If that is OK with you!

 

Guilty person: [RELIEVED AND HAPPY] Of course that is OK with me! I just can't believe that

anybody would want to pay for me to be redeemed from prison!

 

Judge: [STERNLY] Never mind all this! You are wasting my time. ...Unless of course you have

actually got the 100 billion pounds, which I presume you haven't!

 

Unnamed person: Of course I have got the money. Here, have this guaranteed cheque for

100 billion pounds.

 

Judge: [EMBARRASSED] Oh! Then I had better declare the new verdict.

[CLEAR THROAT] I declare that this person is now free to leave the court, and to go and work

for this chap here. This court session has now ended.