Earith Storykeepers
Drama scripts:
These can be used in schools, churches, youth groups -
and you fill in the very simple form on the drama scripts menu page -
© 2008 www.seeking-
Fawlty Inn
[RECEPTION DESK WITH ONE CHAIR. ANOTHER CHAIR CENTRE STAGE]
[LIZ SITTING & WRITING BEHIND RECEPTION DESK. BASIL STANDING BEHIND THE DESK. ALWAYS ‘OVER THE TOP’ CHARACTER]
BASIL: [HAPPY, PACING UP & DOWN, RUBBING HANDS] We’re so busy!
LIZ: [SPITS OUT] Busy! [CONTINUE WRITING. DRYLY] You don’t know the meaning of the word!
BASIL: [FACE LIZ. DRYLY] No dear, I probably don’t know the meaning of the word ‘busy’.
[FACE THE AUDIENCE. DRYLY] I run Fawlty Inn -
LIZ: [SHARPLY] Basil!
BASIL: [LEAP BACK IN FEAR]
JOSEPH & MARY: [ENTER STAGE. JOSEPH HELP MARY TO WALK]
LIZ: [PUT ON POSH VOICE] Ah, some guests. Good evening.
JOSEPH: Hello. [HELP MARY TO SIT ON CHAIR] Sorry, she’s pregnant.
BASIL: Oh. [NOD THOUGHTFULLY]
JOSEPH: Have you got a room for the two of us?
BASIL: Two? Or do you mean the three of you? [LAUGH LIKE A DONKEY]
JOSEPH: Errr?
BASIL: [INAPPROPRIATELY] The bump, [POINT] the bump, that makes three! [LAUGH LIKE A DONKEY]
JOSEPH: Oh yes! Mary is due to give birth at any moment.
BASIL: I’ll just check the room situation. [START TO TURN AROUND]
LIZ: [SHARPLY] Basil!
BASIL: [LEAP BACK IN FEAR]
LIZ: [SHARPLY] You know we haven’t got any rooms!
BASIL: [DRYLY] Just trying to be polite dear! [SPEAK TO JOSEPH] Sorry, we appear to have no rooms left at all.
JOSEPH: Oh dear, what are we going to do?
BASIL: [DEFENSIVE] Well, it’s not our fault. Everyone from around the world seems to be coming here to Bethlehem.
JOSEPH: [DESPERATE] What are we going to do? [COMFORT MARY]
BASIL: [DEFENSIVE] Well I don’t know! It’s not our responsibility!
JOSEPH: [SHAKE HEAD]
BASIL: Blame the Roman’s, that’s what I say. They wanted everyone to go to the town they were born in. [HOLD HANDS UP] Their fault! Not ours!
LIZ: [DRYLY] Don’t get on your high horse Basil.
BASIL: [COLDLY] I’m not on my high horse dear.
LIZ: [STRONGLY] Yes you are Basil.
BASIL: No dear, I am not on my high horse, it’s the Romans fault.
LIZ: [SHARPLY] Basil!
BASIL: [LEAP BACK IN FEAR]
LIZ: [CONDESCENDINGLY] But we do benefit from the extra guests, don’t we Basil?
BASIL: [FIDDLE WITH FINGERS]
LIZ: [STRONGLY] Don’t we Basil?
BASIL: [TIMIDLY] Yes.
LIZ: [CONDESCENDINGLY] So be grateful Basil.
BASIL: Yes dear! Be grateful! Be grateful that I married you my little Rose of Sharon!
JOSEPH: Err, excuse me, but isn’t there any room at all?
BASIL: [SHARPLY] No! It’s the Romans fault.... [WORRIED GLANCE AT LIZ]
JOSEPH: [DESPERATE] My wife could have the baby tonight. Surely there is someone who could give up their room for her?
BASIL: [SCARED] No, not here! [FLAP ARMS AROUND] Babies, no, no. no!
JOSEPH: [DESPERATE] Somewhere, please!
BASIL: [PACE UP & DOWN] Oh alright, alright, alright! Can’t I have any peace around here!
JOSEPH: [EXCITED] You’ve got a room? Are you going to give us your room?
BASIL: No, no, no! You can sleep in the stable.
JOSEPH: [DESPERATE] In the stable? With the animals?
BASIL: Yes, there’s plenty of hay on the floor, you can sleep on that!
JOSEPH: [DESPERATE] With the animals?
BASIL: Yes, and make sure you don’t disturb them!
JOSEPH: [DESPERATE] Giving birth to a baby in a dirty stable?
BASIL: Are you saying that you don’t want to sleep in my stable?
JOSEPH: [DESPERATE] No, no. I’ll have to take it. There’s nowhere else.
BASIL: [HAPPY, PACING UP & DOWN, RUBBING HANDS] Excellent! I’ll still have to charge you the full price.
JOSEPH: [SHAKE HEAD] The stable is down there and turn left isn’t it?
BASIL: Yes indeed.
JOSEPH: [HELP MARY UP & GO TO STABLE & SIT ON THE FLOOR]
BASIL: [HAPPY, PACING UP & DOWN, RUBBING HANDS] We’re so busy! [WALK OFF STAGE]
THE END